SERIOUS JOKING ISN'T NECESSARILY FUNNY OR A LAUGHING MATTER

Presumably, we have all heard about the blonde female who was so very pleased with herself for having finished a jig-saw puzzle in just under six weeks. Understandably so, since it said on the box, 2-4 years!

Naturally, and in solidarity with all my victim friends, I am outraged at being made fun of, as I am blond myself! Is there no respect left in this world? I am not even sure whether I get it, but never mind. It can't be helped! I am sure it is all part of a world-wide conspiracy! Must get in touch with Dan Brown!

Now cracking a good joke may be offensive, if it were not so serious! Were I to end up in court it would be the end of my distinguished career! Mind you, the idea of free bed and breakfast is not entirely unappealing, but only if my wife can join me!

I would certainly not be able to repay all the blonde people in the world! Perhaps I should blame the jig-saw people, which would be slightly puzzling!

So, how can I extricate myself from this mess, now that I have opened my mouth? Maybe I should try to invest some money in a rain-bow coloured wig, or undergo some counselling? Perhaps Donald Trump can help, or even Meister Boris! They surely can understand my predicament! They know all there is to know about bad hair days!