When I find myself in trouble Martin Stephen speaks to me

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Martin Stephen’s controversial article [We don’t need education reform – we need a whole new system] in today’s Daily Telegraph (a paper suited for people with low blood pressure) raises some interesting points, but is based on numerous fallacious assumptions that must not go unchallenged.

First, Ofsted (not to be confused with the Spanish Inquisition, a comparison that could only cross my own mind) most probably and Michael Gove most certainly are not infallible judges when it comes to judging schools.

I have never been quite sure how one can improve the weight of a cow by constantly measuring it, especially when the scales are constantly being tampered with by experts who delight in exerting arbitrary power without responsibility! Why can teachers not be trusted to do the job they have been trained to do?

I also note that Stephen laments ‘the [academic?] failure of so many of our schools’. But who is to be blamed? ‘The fact that half of our schools send no pupils on to study medicine is a damning indictment of their teachers and of their culture.’ What is meant by ‘their culture’? I have no idea! What ridiculous nonsense! If true, then 50% are still doing rather well, culturally speaking! Can teachers provide brains? What’s wrong with children who are less gifted? They might not be able to pursue a medical career, but could become teachers, instead!

As to the ‘sympathy syndrome’, some children do have it hard (including those who are well-off in material terms, but with little or no parental affection, which is a non-punishable form of child abuse), yet may succeed against all the odds! But who is responsible for the destruction of old-fashioned traditional family values? We live in an increasingly ego-logical society, where selfish pleasure is cool, but being geeky is not. Teachers tend to get blamed for almost anything, and may even face the sack, if they dare to counter our new British values, as yet still undefined!

Stephen wants a new system, but no new reforms. Jain (German for Yes-No)! More teachers, smaller class sizes, a slimmed-down curriculum, greater enrichment opportunities, less homework, to start with. And money, too! Children who underachieve, due to laziness and / or bad behaviour, could be taught on Saturdays or repeat a year!

And then one final piece of advice, which is common sense, though we know it is not common. Parents must make sure that their children get enough sleep! Seven days make one weak! I know it works, with me, too! Stephen’s article has caused me a degree of annoyance. That’s because I am tired, after another long day at school! We can all be good when we are not tired! The children as well as the teacher! Could we please dish out some sleeping pills to the kids?! After school, that is!