Let us pray!

I gather that the recent ban on the Lord's Prayer (not John 17) in the cinema has caused a great deal of upset! What a surprise! Never mind anything else then! Is there nothing else we can talk about these days? It should think that the handkerchief industry could be boosted over night if the whole thing could only go viral! For crying out loud?! Who says that religion is bad for the economy?! By way of clarification, I am not referring to my comments, although they may make some people cry!

As I can neither recall my last visit to the pictures let alone reciting the Lord's Prayer, a practise which, so it can be argued, in direct contradiction to what Jesus Himself taught in Matthew 6:5ff., I am probably not qualified to say anything, but as I am not a Trappist monk, I might as well speak on!

It is well-known that the Church of England, an institution rooted in the 16^th century, rather than in New Testament soil, is desperate to swell its ranks by all sorts of means, mainly, though, through hatches, matches and dispatches, or, if you prefer, yells, bells and knells (click here if you don't believe me). And now the Lord's Prayer, featuring the archbishhop, out of all people! Why was I not consulted on this?

It is odd, to put it mildly, that Welby would encourage cinema goers to pray when he himself has just most recently expressed doubts about what God might be up to: 'Paris attacks: Archbishop Justin Welby admits 'doubt' over God's presence after tragedy'! His predecessor – according to Welby 'one of our best ever Archbishops' - notoriously portrayed God as 'pretty useless' on 9/11. Why anyone would wish to urge us to pray to that kind of God in the first place has left be completely bamboozled!

More odd, still, why did the early church never think of that?! Oh, I see, there were no archbishops then! But there was plenty of prayer – in the places of public entertainment – when the early Christians were thrown to the lions! If only I could pray like that myself!

Now as I am not an Anglican, I might as well become a Trappist monk, in my imagination, that is! For the time being! My Anglican friends may perhaps express their thanks to their God in the usual manner!

If any cinema wishes to advertise my comments, then this can be done – for free!
P.S. With my apologies to uncle Richard - "Richard Dawkins says UK cinemas should screen the Lord's Prayer"

To answer or not to answer - that is the question!

It is always interesting to engage with folks that differ from me, especially from a distance. At least I am safe at my desk from any possible cyber-attacks, I hope! Solipsists – let us all unite! Join me in the fight against the advocates of nauseating religious clap-trap.

The recent debate between David Robertson and Scott S. McKenna was interesting to say the least, but hardly seismic, leaving me with a few momentary shivers creeping down my sensitive spine, from which I have now thankfully fully recovered. Backbone is needed much these days! So I've got to stay strong!

In a neo-Kantian universe of ecclesiastical make-belief, dogmatic certainty has now become the unforgivable sin: Anythingism rules! So much is certain, of course! Anyone who says otherwise is a bigot and un-Christlike!

Robertson – the white man who does not speak with a forked tongue – does not need me to defend him, but on this occasion - notwithstanding his blunt manners (Luther has a lot to answer for) - I will make an exception! Robertson's position is clear; he is no chameleon theologian! That is rather refreshing! He likes everybody, so it seems, which is really nice! I hope that includes me, too! His Peter-Pan like zeal is endearing, though a touch naïve, but his courage I cannot match, as I don't mix in such distinguished circles! His motives, I have no doubt, are noble and sincere!

McKenna's kerygmatic pronouncements self-evidently bear little resemblance to apostolic Christianity and may well be symptomatic of a disorderly mind. For all his smooth talking, McKenna's grasp of the essential features of Christianity is woefully inadequate, to say the least. He would never have been admitted into the early church, let alone be let loose in a pulpit! He himself knows that, so I do not have to labour the point!

Did McKenna really subscribe to Calvinism with an honest conscience when he was ordained? Why does he not start his own church? Why do people pay this man who is peddling a Gnostic version of old-fashioned liberalism? If he has changed his mind, then he ought to go!

From the outset (in writing) I disagreed with Robertson's willingness to debate with a self-confessed Christian minister who has little regard for the Jesus of the Bible (another Christ is but a figment of the human imagination)! The decision to go ahead has no New Testament precedent.

Paul is more upsetting still than Robertson when he says, more bluntly, of course: “But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed.” (Galatians 1:8) Presumably, McKenna does not agree with Paul, either!

McKenna should, in the words of Bonhoeffer, adopt a 'religionless Christianity'! When Christ has been relegated to the periphery, in the name of religion, then it is time to come out again. Robertson has done just that! May he be spared to do just keep on doing that!

'When nations are to perish in their sins, 'tis in the church the leprosy begins'. And so it is also with the Church of Scotland these days. The McKenna's of this world have a lot to answer for; they are self-confessed enemies of Christ. We must not shy away from saying so, but do it with tears, or not at all!

You'll get by with a little help from your friend!

Another unsolicited email has reached me. It's made my day! I have decided to out myself! No point in keeping it all to myself! The whole world might as well be told, including my cyber-friends, how proud I am of myself! My real friends know better, but never mind that! Now that I have friends in high places ... I could do with my ego being massaged! It's all official now. Let there be no misunderstanding! Yours truly has been endorsed by none other than the government, though I have not pledged my support to any political party! Who says the age of miracles is over? Think of it! Without me, the UK would be worse off! Time to update my CV! My country needs me - and my money! Rejoice, rejoice, rejoice, to quote auntie Maggie!

A date with Nicky Morgan!

I cannot believe it! I have been accosted which is most flattering, given my age and my looks! This time by the education secretary herself, albeit via an unsolicited email! Already we are on first-name terms!

The poor woman, of course, does not even know me (or my wife), which is just as well! She ought to be thankful! Mind you, for the record, she is not after me, which is a relief! But after my vote, which is not a relief!

I have no issues with the raising of educational standards (whatever that might mean – I need to have a word with uncle Charlie!), but how does one go about it? By keeping politics out of education, and letting teachers get on with it! My natural instincts tell me that teachers should be trusted more than politicians to get the job done! Now that would be a rather exciting, new and revolutionary initiative!

I do not understand why the education secretary seeks to blame the Labour Party for failing schools, whilst at the same time claiming that government policy explains educational success! Never mind the teachers, then, or parents, or auxiliary staff, or hard working pupils! My gut feeling tells me that there must a general election on the horizon!

Now whilst I am at … Teachers are generally overworked (because imposed upon like slaves expecting to make bricks without straw), greatly undervalued (more so than politicians), poorly paid, wrongly blamed for a general lack of discipline among young people (never mind the turbulence in the house of Commons!), and worst of all, living in fear of unerring, uninspectable Ofsted inspectors now endued from on high with plenipotentiary power which must fill any infallible pope with envy! Never in the field of human education was so much owed by so many teachers to so few inspectors, to coin an Ofsted slogan! Ask any failing school! Then thank our education secretary – who has invited all teachers for a date: May 7^th, 2015!

My verdict: Nicky Morgan must do better to get my vote!

Ailurophobic Tomfoolery!

My devoted fans will know that I care little for the pope, and his latest remarks about cats predestined to a life in hell (no purrgatory?!) has done little to warm me to the man dressed in purrrple. I nearly had kittens when I read his cataclysmic (okay, it’s another childish pun!) remarks. It made me wonder what the pope does for a living. Has he got nothing better to do? And how does he know? Did St. Francis tell him? Is it in the Catechism? It ain’t in my Bible! John Wesley was looking forward to seeing his horse in heaven; so may be be there is hope for some cats, as long as they have Methodist blood in them! The pope is reported to have told a little girl that “the only way you will see your cat again is if you reject God’s grace and end up in hell!” Catholic Tomfoolery, indeed, but then I was born a Jerry! No barking, please! Charles Lutwidge Do(d)g(son) may not approve! It leaves me wondering where all the cats are gone ... My Cheshire friends will know the answer!

When I find myself in trouble Martin Stephen speaks to me

Copied with permission

Martin Stephen’s controversial article [We don’t need education reform – we need a whole new system] in today’s Daily Telegraph (a paper suited for people with low blood pressure) raises some interesting points, but is based on numerous fallacious assumptions that must not go unchallenged.

First, Ofsted (not to be confused with the Spanish Inquisition, a comparison that could only cross my own mind) most probably and Michael Gove most certainly are not infallible judges when it comes to judging schools.

I have never been quite sure how one can improve the weight of a cow by constantly measuring it, especially when the scales are constantly being tampered with by experts who delight in exerting arbitrary power without responsibility! Why can teachers not be trusted to do the job they have been trained to do?

I also note that Stephen laments ‘the [academic?] failure of so many of our schools’. But who is to be blamed? ‘The fact that half of our schools send no pupils on to study medicine is a damning indictment of their teachers and of their culture.’ What is meant by ‘their culture’? I have no idea! What ridiculous nonsense! If true, then 50% are still doing rather well, culturally speaking! Can teachers provide brains? What’s wrong with children who are less gifted? They might not be able to pursue a medical career, but could become teachers, instead!

As to the ‘sympathy syndrome’, some children do have it hard (including those who are well-off in material terms, but with little or no parental affection, which is a non-punishable form of child abuse), yet may succeed against all the odds! But who is responsible for the destruction of old-fashioned traditional family values? We live in an increasingly ego-logical society, where selfish pleasure is cool, but being geeky is not. Teachers tend to get blamed for almost anything, and may even face the sack, if they dare to counter our new British values, as yet still undefined!

Stephen wants a new system, but no new reforms. Jain (German for Yes-No)! More teachers, smaller class sizes, a slimmed-down curriculum, greater enrichment opportunities, less homework, to start with. And money, too! Children who underachieve, due to laziness and / or bad behaviour, could be taught on Saturdays or repeat a year!

And then one final piece of advice, which is common sense, though we know it is not common. Parents must make sure that their children get enough sleep! Seven days make one weak! I know it works, with me, too! Stephen’s article has caused me a degree of annoyance. That’s because I am tired, after another long day at school! We can all be good when we are not tired! The children as well as the teacher! Could we please dish out some sleeping pills to the kids?! After school, that is!

No time to be afraid!

G. Heinemann’s words, spoken shortly after WWII, are most apt in a world that is bent on living without God - before God, “Our liberty was purchased at a great cost through the death of the Son of God. No one can chain us with new chains, because the Son of God is risen. Let us respond to the world when they want to instil fear into us: Your masters are going - our Lord, however, is coming!” (translation mine). We, too, must come out! Losing a battle is nothing compared to losing the war!"