Martin Stephen’s controversial article [
We don’t need education reform – we need a whole new system]
in today’s Daily Telegraph (a paper suited for people with low blood
pressure) raises some interesting points, but is based on numerous
fallacious assumptions that must not go unchallenged.
First, Ofsted (not to be confused with the Spanish
Inquisition, a comparison that could only cross my own mind) most
probably and Michael Gove most certainly are not infallible judges when
it comes to judging schools.
I have never been quite sure how one can
improve the weight of a cow by constantly measuring it, especially when
the scales are constantly being tampered with by experts who delight in
exerting arbitrary power without responsibility! Why can teachers not be
trusted to do the job they have been trained to do?
I also note that Stephen laments ‘the [academic?]
failure of so many of our schools’. But who is to be blamed? ‘The fact
that half of our schools send no pupils on to study medicine is a
damning indictment of their teachers and of their culture.’ What is
meant by ‘their culture’? I have no idea! What ridiculous nonsense! If
true, then 50% are still doing rather well, culturally speaking! Can
teachers provide brains? What’s wrong with children who are less gifted?
They might not be able to pursue a medical career, but could become
teachers, instead!
As to the ‘sympathy syndrome’, some children do have
it hard (including those who are well-off in material terms, but with
little or no parental affection, which is a non-punishable form of child
abuse), yet may succeed against all the odds! But who is responsible
for the destruction of old-fashioned traditional family values? We live
in an increasingly ego-logical society, where selfish pleasure is cool,
but being geeky is not. Teachers tend to get blamed for almost anything,
and may even face the sack, if they dare to counter our new British
values, as yet still undefined!
Stephen wants a new system, but no new reforms. Jain
(German for Yes-No)! More teachers, smaller class sizes, a slimmed-down
curriculum, greater enrichment opportunities, less homework, to start
with. And money, too! Children who underachieve, due to laziness and /
or bad behaviour, could be taught on Saturdays or repeat a year!
And then one final piece of advice, which is common
sense, though we know it is not common. Parents must make sure that
their children get enough sleep! Seven days make one weak! I know it
works, with me, too! Stephen’s article has caused me a degree of
annoyance. That’s because I am tired, after another long day at school!
We can all be good when we are not tired! The children as well as the
teacher! Could we please dish out some sleeping pills to the kids?!
After school, that is!
My
devoted fans will know that I care little for the pope, and his
latest remarks about cats predestined to a life
in hell (no purrgatory?!) has done little to warm me to the
man dressed in purrrple. I nearly had kittens when I read his
cataclysmic (okay, it’s another childish pun!) remarks. It made me wonder
what the pope does for a living. Has he got nothing better to do? And
how does he know? Did St. Francis tell him? Is it in the Catechism? It ain’t in my
Bible! John Wesley was looking forward to seeing his horse in heaven;
so may be be there is hope for some cats, as long as they have
Methodist blood in them! The pope is reported to have told a little
girl that “the only way you will see your cat again is if you
reject God’s grace and end up in hell!” Catholic Tomfoolery, indeed, but
then I was born a Jerry! No barking, please! Charles Lutwidge Do(d)g(son) may not approve! It leaves me wondering where all the cats are gone ... My Cheshire friends will know the answer! 
